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This Book Is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It - Paperback
$20.00
In stock
Shipping charges, applicable taxes, the final order total, and available payment methods are shown during checkout before payment. Delivery timing varies by item and fulfillment origin. Standard U.S. returns are by mail for eligible new, unopened items within 30 days of carrier delivery. Customers pay standard return shipping; there is no restocking fee. Approved refunds are issued within 5 business days after the return is received and inspected. Standard exchanges are not offered.
Cindi Book items have a flat $9.99 shipping charge. Shopify Collective items use shipping rates set by the supplier. Orders containing items from different fulfillment sources may include more than one shipping charge. Your full shipping total is shown at checkout before payment.
Return eligibility is subject to the full policy. Opened, read, or unsealed books with broken seals or visible wear are final sale. Digital downloads, gift cards, and personalized products are non-refundable. Original shipping charges are not refunded for standard returns. Contact us within 7 days of delivery about damaged, defective, or incorrect items.
by Jason Pargin (Author), David Wong (Author)
INCLUDES A NEW AFTERWORD
From Jason Pargin, the New York Times bestselling author of the cult sensation John Dies at the End, comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes. Warning: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR. You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection--the creature stimulates skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That's just as well, since the "cure" involves learning what a chainsaw tastes like. You can't feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings. You won't even feel it when it breeds. And it will breed. Just stay calm, and remember that telling you about the spider situation is not the same as having caused it. I'm just the messenger. Even if I did sort of cause it. Either way, I won't hold it against you if you're upset. I know that's just the spider talking. "Like an episode of AMC's The Walking Dead written by Douglas Adams of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...Imagine a mentally ill narrator describing the zombie apocalypse while drunk, and the end result is unlike any other book of the genre. Seriously, dude, touch it and read it." -Washington Post "Kevin Smith's Clerks meets H.P. Lovecraft in this exceptional thriller... [Jason Pargin] is a fantastic author with a supernatural talent for humor. If you want a poignant, laugh-out-loud funny, disturbing, ridiculous, self-aware, socially relevant horror novel than This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don't Touch It is the one and only book for you." -SF SignalAuthor Biography
JASON PARGIN is the New York Times bestselling author of the John Dies at the End series as well as the award-winning Zoey Ashe novels. He previously published under the pseudonym David Wong. His essays at Cracked.com and other outlets have been enjoyed by tens of millions of readers around the world.
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Cindi Book LLC
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Orders ship within the United States. Cindi Book branded titles typically arrive in 5–9 business days, including 0–2 business days of handling and 5–7 business days in transit. Supplier-fulfilled items typically arrive in 8–11 business days, including 1–3 business days of handling and 7–8 business days in transit. Business days are Monday–Friday, excluding U.S. federal holidays. Delivery estimates are not guarantees. Cindi Book items have a flat $9.99 shipping charge. Shopify Collective items use shipping rates set by the supplier. Orders containing items from different fulfillment sources may include more than one shipping charge. Your full shipping total is shown at checkout before payment.
Returns & Refunds
Standard U.S. returns are accepted for eligible new, unopened items within 30 days of carrier delivery. Returns are by mail. Customers are responsible for standard return shipping, there is no restocking fee, and standard exchanges are not offered. Once an approved return is received and inspected, the refund is issued to the original payment method within 5 business days. Damaged, defective, or incorrect items are handled at no return-shipping cost to the customer.
Return eligibility is subject to the full policy. Opened, read, or unsealed books with broken seals or visible wear are final sale. Digital downloads, gift cards, and personalized products are non-refundable. Original shipping charges are not refunded for standard returns. Contact us within 7 days of delivery about damaged, defective, or incorrect items.
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