Books by splitShops
Help! I'm Being Held a Prisoner in a Ransom Note Factory! - Paperback
$39.76
In stock
Shipping charges, applicable taxes, the final order total, and available payment methods are shown during checkout before payment. Delivery timing varies by item and fulfillment origin. Standard U.S. returns are by mail for eligible new, unopened items within 30 days of carrier delivery. Customers pay standard return shipping; there is no restocking fee. Approved refunds are issued within 5 business days after the return is received and inspected. Standard exchanges are not offered.
Cindi Book items have a flat $9.99 shipping charge. Shopify Collective items use shipping rates set by the supplier. Orders containing items from different fulfillment sources may include more than one shipping charge. Your full shipping total is shown at checkout before payment.
Return eligibility is subject to the full policy. Opened, read, or unsealed books with broken seals or visible wear are final sale. Digital downloads, gift cards, and personalized products are non-refundable. Original shipping charges are not refunded for standard returns. Contact us within 7 days of delivery about damaged, defective, or incorrect items.
by Ron Pataky (Author)
If nothing else, its very title, HELP! I'M BEING HELD A PRISONER IN A RANSOM NOTE FACTORY, at least provides the reader with a hint of the raucous, unbridled insanity held captive within the book's boldly restraining covers. If this was indeed your conclusion on first seeing the title, congratulations on the acumen, acuity, and sheer keenness of your sharp and clever perceptivity! And should - finally -- you discover that you actually enjoy Ron Pataky's contribution to the species, you will have the satisfaction of knowing you are in distinguished company! William F. Buckley, Jr. had nothing but good words concerning Ron's offerings, as did both comedienne Phyllis Diller and the late Milton Berle. All were in agreement that folks who enjoy a good laugh undoubtedly will enjoy this writer's uniquely special way with thoughts, words, and phrases.
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Clear Information Before You Order
Cindi Book is the trade name of Cindi Book LLC, a Texas-registered online-only retailer. We provide clear contact, shipping, return, and checkout information so customers can make informed purchasing decisions.
Business & Customer Care
Cindi Book LLC
Administrative office only; no storefront or local pickup.
214-308-1733 · info@cindibook.com
Monday–Friday, 8:00 AM–5:00 PM CT
Shipping Transparency
Orders ship within the United States. Cindi Book branded titles typically arrive in 5–9 business days, including 0–2 business days of handling and 5–7 business days in transit. Supplier-fulfilled items typically arrive in 8–11 business days, including 1–3 business days of handling and 7–8 business days in transit. Business days are Monday–Friday, excluding U.S. federal holidays. Delivery estimates are not guarantees. Cindi Book items have a flat $9.99 shipping charge. Shopify Collective items use shipping rates set by the supplier. Orders containing items from different fulfillment sources may include more than one shipping charge. Your full shipping total is shown at checkout before payment.
Returns & Refunds
Standard U.S. returns are accepted for eligible new, unopened items within 30 days of carrier delivery. Returns are by mail. Customers are responsible for standard return shipping, there is no restocking fee, and standard exchanges are not offered. Once an approved return is received and inspected, the refund is issued to the original payment method within 5 business days. Damaged, defective, or incorrect items are handled at no return-shipping cost to the customer.
Return eligibility is subject to the full policy. Opened, read, or unsealed books with broken seals or visible wear are final sale. Digital downloads, gift cards, and personalized products are non-refundable. Original shipping charges are not refunded for standard returns. Contact us within 7 days of delivery about damaged, defective, or incorrect items.
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Order Responsibility
Some items may ship from Cindi Book or U.S.-based publishing, manufacturing, or distribution suppliers that fulfill orders for Cindi Book. Cindi Book LLC remains the customer-service contact for order questions, delivery support, returns, and refunds.